


Always Like the First Time

by fortescue_g



Category: Infinite (Band), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Fluff, Ha Sungwoon - Freeform, Music, Produce 101 - Freeform, Romance, Yoon Jisung - Freeform, bae jinyoung - Freeform, hwang minhyun - Freeform, kang daniel - Freeform, kim jaehwan - Freeform, lai guanlin - Freeform, lee daehwi - Freeform, ong seongwoo - Freeform, park jihoon - Freeform, park woojin - Freeform, wanna one - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-07-25 03:16:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 18,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16188938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortescue_g/pseuds/fortescue_g
Summary: ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*a pent-up love confession only for him✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*This is a story between You and Kim Jae-hwan, your classmate at the university.You are a flautist and an emerging singer-producer. Even though you've got talents and beauty in your hand, you seem still can't to open-up your heart for both music and love because of your past.Jae-hwan is an aspiring singer who dreams to be on stage. His sincerity and kindness knocked your heart and make you can't help but fall for him even with your most significant denial ever..｡.:*☆ author's note ☆.｡.:*♥ each part contains less than 2000 words♥ i hope you enjoy my story and please give me a lot of love and support  (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧





	1. The Audition

My brother is crazy.

No matter how much he loves his girlfriend, he has no right to order me around to fulfil his girlfriend's need.

I can say that I'm quite good at music. First, I'm attending an art school specialized in music. Second, I'm always the first (or sometimes second) to be asked by the school to join music competition representing my school. Third, when I was younger, my mom taught me how to play the flute while my dad often asked me a feedback for his music composition.

I'm not bad, huh?

But here I am. After forcefully ditch all of the knowledge I have about music, I come for an audition for Korea's Got Talent 2. Not as a participant, but as Yoo-jin's slave. She will be auditioning as a singer. Repeat, singer.

Even my brother already now that his girlfriend doesn't have any talents in music. But yet he still asked me to accompany Yoo-jin for the audition.

"Do I look pretty?" I heard this kind of question for hundred times already since this morning.

"Instead of worrying about being pretty," I said, "you should worry about your throat. I haven't seen you doing vocal warm up. Which is weird because you are auditioning as a singer."

"Honey, I'm not aiming as a winner in this competition," she said. "Rather, I would treasure it as a good experience for my career in the future."

Well, what a good word to say. But it doesn't fit her image at all.

"So that's mean, we are just wasting our time here?" I rolled my eyes. "As far as I know, you want to be a fashion designer. And what are we doing here?"

She doesn't even bother to hear me anymore. What am I gonna do when she becomes my sister-in-law later?

Since I am her slave for today, I got treated as participant's family member by the staff here, which is quite good. I can take a glimpse the situation of an audition for a TV show. So many people with interesting talents here. But with just one sight, I guess the most participant are auditioning as a singer or something that still related to music. Just like the boy with blue shirt over there.

Judging by his look, I think we are the same age. I don't see something special from him. I mean, at least 5 participants in this room are auditioning as a singer while playing their guitar, and so does him. He keeps practising his performance in front of the mirror wall, unlike Yoo-jin. I guess he comes alone without someone to accompany him.

As predicted, Yoo-jin failed. But she doesn't even shed any tears. She really takes this audition as a part of her experience. Maybe someday she will be adding it to her CV.

"Let's go home," Yoo-jin said while packing her stuff.

But the boy hasn't even performed yet. "Wait. Let me watch some stages before we go home."

"I thought you were whining and complaining all the time," Yoo-jin confused with my sudden action.

I keep focusing my eyes on the monitor. The boy is on standby and about to perform. Ten minutes later, he performs girl group Miss A's debut song and ending it with regret. He also failed.

 

* * *

"Can I sit beside you?" someone taps my shoulder while pointing an unoccupied seat beside me.

"Oh my God, Hyun-woo. Just sit," you boy!" I laughed. It's Hyun-woo, one of my partner in every school music competition I joined. He plays the piano.

Today is the first semi-final of Korea's Got Talent 2. Yes, I'm here again but this time as part of the audience, and of course without Yoo-jin. I and other classmates are cheering for one of our friend who competing today.

Unfortunately, my friend is failed to advance to the next round. I have no other reason to watch another stage but I can't go anywhere anyway since we can't leave before the show end.

The next contestant is already on standby position in the middle of the stage. Contestant number 6? 7? I'm losing track. While he preparing his guitar, a VCR is shown on the main display behind him. From the video shown, I learn that the guy's name is Kim Jae-Hwan.

Following the signal from the production staff, I can hear the sound of kazoo filling in the stage. A shiver runs up my spine. I can't take my eyes over his performance.

Come to think about it, this guy seems familiar. I swear I saw him somewhere. "I can't recall, but I think I know him, " I said to Hyun-woo.

"Haven't you watched the last episode?" Hyun-woo asked. "This guy is a participant from Dae-gu audition, but he failed. However, Kim Gu-ra, the guest judge at that time, asked the production team to give him another chance for Seoul audition."

I nod repeatedly along with Hyun-woo explanation. I should search him up later at home.

Wait, now I remember! He is the blue shirt boy who sang Miss A's song.

"I thought you were not interested in a guy," Hyun-woo looks confused. After always being partnered for two years, Hyun-woo knows my personality well. I've never been in any love relationship. The only guy that I currently love is my only brother.

"Then I'll be interested since this very second."

 

* * *

 

Kim Sung-gyu from Infinite is the only idol singer that I like currently. I'm quite late to know about them but from the very first time I learned about their music, I put all of their songs on the loop om my music player.

Now I have additional songs for my music player and emerging to become my favourite:

 

> _Miss A - Bad Girl, Good Girl (_ _KGT2_ _KJH_ _Ver_ _.)_
> 
> _Kim_ _Kwang_ _-_ _seok_ _\- Wait for Me (_ _KGT2_ _KJH_ _Ver_ _.)_
> 
> _Kim_ _Kwang_ _-_ _seok_ _\- Too Painful a Love was Not Love (_ _KGT2_ _KJH_ _Ver_ _.)_
> 
> _Crying Nut -_ _Myeongdong_ _Calling (_ _KGT2_ _KJH_ _Ver_ _.)_
> 
>  

* * *

 


	2. The Confession

"I'm sorry. I can't accept your feeling," I apologize for the third time.

"Why? Is it because I'm ugly? Poor?" This guy asked me furiously.

He is my senior. I don't even know his name. But I know for sure that he is a senior and we are not from the same department; he is a broadcasting student judging by his jacket. But it won't change the fact that he is still my senior.

I shake my head. "No, sunbae-nim," I answered. "I have someone."

"No, I know you. You are lying," he argued. "Your friend told me that you don't have someone right now."

So what if I'm lying right now? I have my own life. I can do anything I want.

But I don't have any courage to say that.

"Hey, you are here!" Someone tap my shoulders. "I was looking for you all over the place. Prof. Jang needs to see us right now at his office."

"Who are you?" The senior guy asked. He looks annoyed. But hey, I'm also annoyed at him.

"I'm Kim Jae-hwan, her classmate," he answered. "Sunbae-nim, I'm sorry. But I have to go with her right now."

Jae-hwan pushes my back as we leave the senior guy. I swear I heard some cuss words right behind us.

 

* * *

 

"This must be enough," Jae-hwan said after we reach lecturers office. "I will leave you now."

"Thank you," I said with low voice, more like whisper maybe. Somehow I can't look at him properly.

"It must be hard for you, getting all of the attention all the time," he said.

I lift my head. Did he just mock me for the things that happened before?

"I didn't say it in a negative way, really!" he flustered while waves his hands. "I just know that you don't really like getting too much attention. And everything happened just make you feel burdened," he added.

How did he know?

"Hmm..., yeah." I have no words to respond to him. "Thank you."

"Okay, I'll be leaving now. See you in class!" He leaves me.

I and Jae-hwan are classmates in university. I never expected that such a thing will happen. I still remember how I was mesmerized by his performance in KGT2 back then. And how I was going to sleep only if I listened to his singing in my music player as my lullaby.

But it doesn't make our relationship special in any way. We are just classmates, no more than that. I even barely talk to him.

And I'm still denying my feeling for him. I don't want to admit that I like him at the first sight. It sounds shallow, at least to my preference. Yet I'm still worried if he caught me rejecting someone else's feeling like the last time. And how my chest aches every time I saw any girls try to get closer to him. 

 

* * *

 


	3. The Duet (pt. 1)

"I heard from the other class that Prof. Hwang going to give duet assignment for us," Ha-neul, my classmate, said.

"But our class is odd," I said while cleaning my phone screen with a sheet of tissue.

"Maybe there will be one trio group or someone should stay alone," she laughed. "I hope it won't be me."

"I hope it will be me," I said. I'm already getting used to a five-member group for our monthly performance assignment. But duet? It will be a burden.

"Hey hey hey...," Ha-neul shakes my shoulders. "If every guy in this class now about this news, right now they will be lining up to be your partner," she said. "Except Jae-hwan."

"Why?" I swear I have no intention to ask her but this question just slipped out like that.

"Because they like you so much. How could you don't know about that after all of the confessions you received?" Ha-neul answered.

Thank God! It seems that she doesn't realize my question was actually about Jae-hwan.

But, does it mean Jae-hwan already has someone?

 

* * *

 

"To prevent any war happen," Prof. Hwang said while fixing her eyeglasses, "you will determine your duet partner by drawing lots."

"Booo..." Almost all of the students complained.

Our class president, Han-bin, helps Prof. Hwang by guiding us to draw the lots and taking note the list of duet team. I can see Han-bin expression getting sour as he knows that Ha-neul will be partnered with Jin-wook. He openly admits that he likes Ha-neul.

When Jae-hwan's turn comes, he walks to the front of the class to draws a lot. I sneakily follow him walking with the tail of my eyes. Who will be partnered up with him?  
  


* * *

 

"You must be thankful that you partnered up with Jae-hwan," Ha-neul said after sipping her strawberry juice. "Seems like he doesn't interested in you. You will be comfortable working with him. And he is really talented just like you anyway."

Should I be thankful? Yes, somehow. Feeling comfortable? I'm not sure.

I really want to know why Jae-hwan doesn't have any interest in me. I'm not saying it because I somewhat popular or whatever and getting furious with the fact that he is unlike the other guys who give me love confessions. I just curious. Period.

But Ha-neul doesn't even seem bothered to tell me about him. I'm getting frustrated.  
  


* * *

 


	4. The Duet (pt. 2)

"Hi," Jae-hwan greeted me. He smiles innocently and waves his hands.

Innocently? What's wrong with me?

We decided to meet after class to discuss our duet assignment. On my way to here, I tried to think of any concept for our project but my mind really not working until now.

"Have you been waiting for too long?" I asked calmly and take a seat in front of him.

He shakes his head while smiling. "Do you want to order something? I only ordered one snack platter before you arrive, just in case, since I don't know what you like." He is showing me the menu. "For your information, I ordered this since the staff told me this one is really popular," he added while pointing a picture of snack platter on the menu.

"That will be enough for now, I guess," I said. "Let's order more snack later."

As soon as our order arrives, we started talking about our assignment. I didn't say my opinion much since I mostly agree with him. I tried to taking note of everything we discussed so I won't forget and hoping it can make my heartbeat calmer.

I should stop thinking about him. I don't like him, right?

"Hey!" He must be caught me spacing out. It's embarrassing. What kind of expression that I show to him now? "I know that you are a nice friend," he said while looking into my eyes.

Okay. What is it now? I already being suffered to sit with him for almost an hour. And now he is going to torture me again with his eyes.

"Sorry?" My brain cells must be messed up right now but I try to act calm.

"You must be feeling awkward around me, right?" he guessed. How could he know? "I believe it's just because we are not close from the start."

I try not to show any expression in my face right now as I'm still processing his words.

"No, no, no!" He looks flustered. I haven't said anything by the way. "I'm not pushing you to be closer with me," he explained. "It's just... For the sake of our assignment, I hope you will feel comfortable around me. We are going to work together for a couple days ahead."

Well, that is my wish since a long time ago; have a comfortable relationship with him even only just being a friend. But how could I do that if I don't even know how to control my heartbeat?

Yes, it's a human thing. Heartbeat can't be controlled by human just like that. Science.

But still.

"I'm sorry if you feel bothered by me," I finally said. "My attitude, my way of talking, or anything." He quickly shakes his head and ready to answers back. "I know what you mean. Don't misunderstand me," I laughed at him.

"I'm terrible at words. I also bad at responding to someone by not saying anything. But I swear I still put my whole attention. So I hope you don't feel offended or misunderstood by me. If you need my response or opinion, please ask me directly," I explained.

He nods occasionally while paying attention to me. I know that I'm being selfish right now but he is still so sweet by hearing my lengthy explanation.

"When I'm not saying anything, it doesn't always mean I'm angry or something. It just I have nothing to say. Again, please don't be misunderstood," I added shamelessly. "I also want to be comfortable around you. But I don't know how. And I know that sometimes people get confused because of my action."

That was my longest conversation ever with him. Not actually conversation, more like a monologue and he just being forced to hear me. I don't know how could I did that. So many words.

And did I say that I want to be comfortable around him? Am I being openly crazy?

"I knew it," he said. "Just being you. You don't need to change for anyone. Don't hear bad things people said about you. You know yourself the best," he said.

I just stare at him. I really have no word to say, but I feel thankful deep in my heart.

He clears his throat. "Sometimes people say mean things to me even though they don't know about me really well," he said. "It's hard to ignore and not to hear that kind of thing. But I learned to do so. I only focus on things that matter to me."

"Thanks for your words," I said. He smiles at me.

"Anyway, since we will be discussing so much thing later outside the class, which one do you prefer? Texting or phone call?" he asked.

"Text, please," I answered quickly without thinking.

Seconds later, here comes the regret.

I can't imagine what am I going to do if he really calls me. But it doesn't mean that I don't want to have a single phone call ever with him. It just... I'm not ready. What am I doing if I stuttering and can't say anything?

"It sounds ridiculous but I also bad at a phone call. Even I have to prepare some words to say before calling someone," I explained quickly. "But I got much better later, without the notes," I added. Please, call me even if it's just once.

I know that I'm being indecisive with my feeling. I just still don't trust my heart.

"Okay. I understand," he said while nodding his head. His chubby cheeks look jiggly.

"So cute."

"Sorry?" Jae-hwan lifts his head. He looks confused.

Tartar sauce. I must be crazy. What's wrong with my mouth?

"The dog, behind you," I answered quickly while pointing some random dog. Thankfully it actually looks cute.

I mean the dog.

"Do you like a dog?" he asked while watching the dog playing in bushes.

"Nope," I answered. Jae-hwan, the talk about the dog is only a distraction.

"But you just said that the dog is cute," he giggles. "How cute."

What is it now?

"Waa..., time sure flies fast," he checked his watch. "If there is no more thing to be discussed, I will leave now," he said.

"Okay," I said while tidying up my notebook.

"Do you have any plan after this?" he asked. "Or maybe just going home?"

I'm being silent for a couple of seconds. Suddenly I don't remember a single thing. Do I have any plan? A place to visit?

"No need to answer if you feel uncomfortable," Jae-hwan said quickly. He looks guilty.

"This is what I called the misunderstanding," I laughed. "I was thinking where am I going to go after this. I guess I'm just heading home." I said.

"I will be taking a bus. How about you?" Jae-hwan asked.

"Me too," I said. I take a glimpse at my watch. It's still at 3 PM. Too early to come home.

"Do you want to go to the bus stop together?" he asked again. I nod my head.

And this is the mark of my first ever 'going-to-home-together' with him.

Hmm, I should correct myself.

It's gonna be my first 'go-to-bus-stop-at-the-same-time-with-him'.  
  


* * *

 


	5. The Duet (pt. 3)

"What is your bus number again?" I asked Jae-hwan after the long silence between us.

"28," he shortly answered.

We are waiting for the bus together. My bus hasn't arrived but I guess I saw the #28 bus for the third time already.

"Really? 28?" I asked. "The one that just passed by?" I give another question just to make sure.

"Eh?" He turns his head to me. "You caught me," he laughed. "Your bus hasn't arrived."

So he is staying for me all this time?

"Don't worry about me. You can't be late for your work," I said. I feel the burst of happiness deepest in my heart, but I have to use my logic at this time.

"It's okay," he said. "Look. Your bus is coming." He stands and guides me to the bus' door. "See you tomorrow!"

I give a little smile and wave at him. It must be my happiest day ever since... I don't know. Since a long time ago.

 

* * *

 

I just realised Ha-neul called me twice and left me messages on KTalk.

 

Gosh. No wonder I feel like I'm forgetting something. I was supposed to meet Ha-neul after meeting Jae-hwan. 

Okay. That was natural. I'm sorry, Ha-neul.

 

* * *

 


	6. The First Messages

 

 

 

     

     

     

     

     

     

 

  


	7. Making Memories (pt. 1)

"Where are you going?" Ha-neul grabs my hand when I'm about to leave the classroom.

"I'm going to meet Jae-hwan," I answered while trying to release my hand from her.

"What for?" she asked. She looks confused.

"I and Jae-hwan have a duet assignment from Prof. Hwang," I answered. "And so does you."

"Oh, come one! We have 3 weeks until the D-day," she protested.

"I have another project to do. I need to use my time wisely." I try to reason her.

"Okay then," she gave up. "See you tomorrow." I give a little goodbye wave to her.

 

* * *

 

The main reason why I meet Jae-hwan is...

... is to meet him.

I just want to meet him, with assignment as the excuse.

As Ha-neul said, we have enough time for the preparation. But since Jae-hwan want to practise with me anyway, why not? It's in line with my actual intention.

Well, I want to practise too. Of course. For the sake of our assignment.

But having a chance to meet him outside the class is like 1+1. When else would I have this chance?

However, when we are about to start our work together, I'm already prepared my heart. I know that I would be happy throughout the days we are going to spend together as a partner. But I also know that I can't expect anything more than that. I still remember what Ha-neul said about him before. Even though I don't know the exact reason why he doesn't interested in me.

 

* * *

 

I think 10 minutes already passed since I came to this mini-studio. I came early than our promised time, but Jae-hwan even came earlier than me and now he is playing his guitar. I still hesitate to come in.

I checked the pulse of my left hand. I guess I'm still nervous. Should I come in now? Do I look decent? I regret why didn't I check on myself before in the restroom.

"What are you doing? Come in!" Someone suddenly opens the door behind me. It's Jae-hwan.

"Oh, hi..., " I greeted him with a low voice, still a bit shocked.

"Why are you standing here instead of coming? It's quite cold outside." He touches my backpack and pushes me in. Later he closes the door behind us.

I just realized that actually it's just the two of us on this narrow room. Suddenly I don't feel any strength in my knee. This nervousness doesn't seem to fade away.

"Strangely this room doesn't have any chair," he said. "But we can sit on the floor. This room has carpet anyway. Is it okay?" he asked while looking worriedly at me.

"Sure. It's okay. I like this better," I said. I put my backpack beside his guitar case and taking out my flute.

When I'm about to ask what time did he come, I'm surprised because he is taking off his hoodie. What is it now? Another torture?

"Here," he said while giving me his hoodie. "You can put it on your lap."

Why is he being so nice to me? I can't.

"That's so nice of you. Thank you," I said. I feel guilty and really want to reject his kindness. But I'm also really happy right now. So I choose to ditch my dignity.

"Don't try to smell it," he chuckles. "It doesn't smell. But, yeah, just don't smell it." I just smile at him. I'm so happy right now.

I try to feel the texture of his cloth. It's very soft. Just like him. Very soft.

I'm soft.

I turn my head from his hoodie towards him and I find he is smiling at me now. Since when? And why? Is there something on my face? Or did he caught me that I was feeling his hoodie? Did I smile at that time? I don't remember.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing." He shakes his head. "Can you play the guitar?"

"Hmm... I learned from the internet," I answered honestly.

He widens his eyes. "Can you play it for me?" he asked.

"Me?" I surprised. "Nooo... How could I play the guitar in front of you?" This is a nightmare.

"Why not?" he said while shifting his sit position closer to me. "Please," he begged.

What is this? Puppy eyes? I can't turn him down.

"My skill is shabby. I warned you," I said while reaching his guitar. His mouth opens like an excited puppy.

I'm holding his guitar. HIS GUITAR.

Okay. Calm!

"Aw, the guitar is too big for you. You look so tiny and cute," he laughed.

Sorry??

I try to play some bars on the music sheet laying in front of me. Actually, my skill is not too bad. I can play some notes and still recognizable. But it's not something that can be shown in front of a guitarist.

"You can play well," he said after I put an end to my small performance. "You just need some practice. Let me help your fretting," he said. He is getting closer to me.

Suddenly he looks into my eyes. He makes me startled. "Excuse me," he said. He touches my ring finger and fixes its placement for D chord. I can see his vein on his right hand. Somehow it looks attractive. And don't let me start to talk about his fingernails. I don't know again how to describe how beautiful his fingernails are.

I bit my lower lip because I don't want he hears my wild heartbeat right now.

"Actually," I quickly said to distract him. He pulls his body and attentively looks at me. "I play all instrument with my left hand even though I'm not left-handed." I don't know the reason why I should tell him this. This mouth, really.

"Really?" He looks interested. "I know about your flute play. But you just showed me how well you play the guitar with your right hand," he said.

"I've never shown this to anyone," I said while turning his guitar on my hand. The headstock is now on my right side. "I actually play it like this." I play another song with my unusual guitar position. The headstock on my right side while I strumming with my left hand.

I startled a bit. He looks more interested as he got closer to me. I have to end my play or else I'll faint.

"Why?" he asked, more like a protest. "You should play more."

"No, Jae-hwan. This is embarrassing and disrespecting to the other guitarist," I answered while returning his guitar.

"Disrespecting?" he looks confused. "You play really really really well. I'm impressed."

"That was not the right way to play the guitar," I explained to him.

"Have you watched August Rush? The guitar friend," he asked. He looks somewhat serious.

I laugh. "Jae-hwan, please."

"I know, I know," he shakes his head. "But still. Just because I've never seen someone play the guitar like him, it doesn't mean that there won't be any person in this world who do that," he explained. "You have a unique skill."

I don't know what to say anymore. I'm too happy right now.

 

* * *

 

"How could I forget about it," he suddenly muttering and rummaging his bag behind him. "I bought you this." He gives me a canned coffee. "I saw you drank it a couple of time the other day. So yeah, I guess you must be like it."

I feel touched. "Thank you," I said. "I also should bring something. Fool me." He just smiles.

"Ah, about our arrangement," he said while opening his notebook. At last, we talk about the assignment. "I've been thinking about it since last night."

"About what?" I asked. Is there something wrong?

"This assignment is called 'duet' for a reason, right?" he said. "But why only me who going to sing? How about you? The song that we choose is a duet song anyway."

"So you say that I should sing too?" I shocked.

"Yeah! That's what I mean," he widens his eyes.

He made me play the guitar and now he wants me to sing. It's a combo nightmare.

"No, Jae-hwan, no," I shake my head. "I can't."

"But you are a singer-producer anyway," he tries to persuade me.

"I never sing in public," I explained.

"Why?" he asked. He looks into my eyes with his puppy eyes again, hoping for an answer.

I really don't want to talk about it but his eyes make me weak. "Well, I tried before. But failed," I said. "I don't have any courage to sing in public again."

He keeps looking at me but with softer gaze now. He doesn't say anything for a minute and I also don't know what to say. It feels awkward in a sudden.

He clears his throat and finally open his mouth, "Do you want to have a date with me?"

What now?!

 

* * *

 


	8. Making Memories (pt. 2)

"Jae-hwan, seriously?!" Wow, I can't take it anymore.

After made my heart pounded like crazy, he brings me to this place: arcade room. He doesn't seem even care with what I said anymore. He is busy searching for an empty coin karaoke machine room.

"Come here!" He grabs my hand and pushes me to the empty room. He orders me to sit while he inserting a coin into the machine. "Choose any song."

"You want me to sing? Really?" He is going too far this time.

"I will choose it for you then," he said. He scrolls through some songs and picks 'I Miss You' by Kim Bum-soo. "You played this for your audition right?" he asked. How does he know? "I'll be waiting outside. Please sing comfortably."

"But you can still hear me even from outside," I protested as he leaves the room.

"Everybody here knows that these rooms are not soundproof," he giggles. "Just sing while facing the display. I'll be watching you from behind," he really makes me speechless.

     

Now the situation is already like this, better sing and leave this place quickly. I played this song at my university audition. But to sing, this song is too difficult as it has so many high notes. I don't know anymore.

The music starts playing and I'm ready to sing. I was nervous at first. As the time goes by, strangely I feel more comfortable. But I still have to put extra effort to hit the high notes. I'm not trained for this.

When the song reaches the end, the door suddenly open and Jae-hwan is coming in. The TV is displaying the score calculation. I got 92 for my shabby sing.

"As expected," Jae-hwan mumbled while taking out his phone. He takes a picture of my score.

"Hey, what is that for?" I asked. This is embarrassing.

"I should save this moment," he answered. He looks somewhat satisfied with his picture. "Now for the second round, I will be sitting here while you singing." He is rummaging his pocket to find another coin.

"But this is too fast," I begged him. He really has no mercy. He ignores me and chooses another song.

"This one is perfect for you," he smiles widely after choosing a song for me. I can't believe what he just did. He chooses my song, my real song which produced by me and was released 4 months ago.

"Why it has to be this song?" I asked. I want to laugh but it's not the time to laugh.

"This is yours. And nothing more righteous than this," he said. "I'll be sitting here but I won't face you." He turns his body around.

Okay, this is my song anyway. This should be easy. But since he is sitting beside me in this cramped room, I know it will be hard. My song supposed to be a calm and soothing song. But I know for sure that my heart is not in calm state right now. I should act as if nothing happens.

I can hear he sings along with me with a lower voice. He knows my song well. I feel like I'm receiving an award now.

I got 97 this time. I deserve this since this is my song. Again, Jae-hwan takes a picture of my score.

"I told you. This one is perfect," he proudly said. "By the way, it's my favourite song. And I'm so lucky to have a chance to listen to the song by the original singer."

I can't hide my smile. I'm beyond happy.

"And," he shows another coin, "this one is for a duet song. I really want to sing since we arrived here. My mouth is itchy." He then scrolls the music list to find the song. "What song do you prefer?" he asked.

"Do you want me to sing again?" I answered with a question.

"How about 'Troublemaker'?" he asked again. He chooses it anyway without waiting for my opinion. Why bother to ask then?

Our last stage is really wild. Don't think 'wild' in 'wild' way. I mean, including myself, we really enjoy it. Not only sings, but he also dances. I can't contain my laughter when he starts the dance mimicking someone knocking on the door. Even though he sings while laughing hard, just like me, his voice is very stable. This is not something new, but I always impressed by him.

When Hyuna's rap part is about to start, he suddenly takes out his phone and shows its screen to me. He types my name in LED banner apps as if we are at the concert. I try to snatch his phone out of embarrassment, but he manages to secure his phone and tell me to focus to sing. I missed some lyrics in return.

The song finally ends. Both of us looking at each other and burst in laugh. Suddenly, this idea crosses my mind. "Do you have any coin left?" I asked.

"Nope. I only bought for 3 rounds," he answered.

"Wait here," I left him and hurriedly buy 1 coin from the counter.

"Do you really want to sing that badly? Again? After 3 rounds?" he laughed. I just smile while trying to find the song that I want. "I thought you were annoyed at me before."

"I want you to sing this," I said. I pointing the display and give him the mic. "I couldn't listen to it properly since I was working at that time."

"But why this song?" he laughed. He looks somewhat embarrassed. I chose 'Sorry' by Lena Park.

"You looked cool when you were performed this," I answered and take a seat beside him.

Wait, why do I have to sit beside him? I must be crazy. But I can't just change my seat since I don't want he gets the wrong idea.

But, but, will he also get the wrong idea if I just stay to sit beside him?

He clears his throat and tries to capture the emotion by slaps his cheeks several times. He still tries to hide his laugh. When the song is about to starts, suddenly he turns his body towards me. His gaze changes. He looks serious. As expected, he is the coolest when he sings. But the problem is, I don't know how to react if he really sings while looking into my eyes.

Gosh. He really does that.

I try to hide my nervousness by clenching my fist. I can't look straight to him, so I try to look at his side neck instead. But his sterno muscle is clearly visible and somehow make my heart skip a beat. Where should I look now? I'm getting frustrated.

     

 

* * *

 


	9. Making Memories (pt. 3)

I feel like I'm riding a never-ending roller-coaster today. I'm getting tired.

His voice when sang 'Sorry' still ringing in my head. I try to erase it as I want to be more focus. But his voice is too beautiful to be forgotten. And I can't stop looking at his back when he is waiting for our drinks in front of the cashier.

"Here's your tea," Jae-hwan comes and puts my tea in front of me. I start drinking it as soon as the cup reaches both of my hands. My lips feel like it's getting burned. It makes me close my eyes and frown. I don't care anymore.

"That must be hot," Jae-hwan laughs and gives me tissues. "Ah, I just realized. I shouldn't sing the song in front of you like that."

Yeah, Sir. Why only now? It's good news that I'm still alive.

"Why?" I'm curious about his answer. I fix my sitting position.

"The lyric doesn't suit you. How could I call you a liar? I feel guilty now," he explained while looking intensely at his barley tea.

I laugh at his reason. He is foolishly cute. "I don't care about the lyrics. We were not lover anyway," I added.

He suddenly lifts his head and looking into my eyes. He makes me startled. "Do you think so? Okay then," he forcedly smiled. What's with this sudden awkward feeling? "By the way, I was disappointed by you back then," he said again.

"Sorry?" I'm quite surprised. I can't recall about what have I done to him before. We are not even close and we barely ever talk to each other. I straighten my back and getting ready to hear his explanation.

"When I was in 'God's Voice', you were an intern right? For the music team," he said.

I almost spill my tea. "How did you know?"

"Of course I knew. I caught you were looking at me. But then you were just passing me by as if we don't know each other," he explained. He sulks.

"Gosh. This is embarrassing." I cover my face with both of my hand. I never expected that he would be recognized me at that time.

"Hey, don't hide your face. Tell me your reason," he laughed while trying to uncover my face.

"Actually I wanted to greet and cheer on you, but I was afraid that you didn't know me," I explained.

"What kind of reason is that? I know you. We are classmates anyway," he protested.

"I have this kind of fear since long time ago. So, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry," I said earnestly. Even though I already give an honest reason, why do I feel like I'm lying?

"I understand now. It's okay," he smiled at me. "I also didn't have any courage to greet you. I thought you were busy so I didn't want to disturb you. And we were not even close," he apologized. I guess we are even now. I nod and smile at him. I never expected that we have this kind of story.

"By the way, you seem tired. It's only 6 PM right now," he said.

"You don't know how tired I am right now." I'm ready to spill everything. "I've never been this tired even when I'm working."

"Really? Why? I'm not tired at all," he laughed. He looks happy. "So how do you think about our date?"

"Our date?" I laughed. Actually, I'm really shocked by his choice of word but I try to hide my feeling. He giggles. "Well, at first I hated your idea about the karaoke thing. And the guitar, of course. But as time passed by, I think I enjoyed it," I explained honestly. "I'm tired now but I feel delighted at the same time."

"Thank you for not hating me," he said followed by his laugh.

"How could I hate you? Even you granted my wish by singing 'Sorry'." Of course, I can't hate you, Jae-hwan.

I think I fall for him even deeper now.

 

* * *

     

     

     

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


	10. The Love Story for Sung-gyu

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

"What's with that mask and glasses?" I asked. Sung-gyu hurriedly takes a seat in front of me. "Are you a superstar?" I mocked him.

"This is your fault. Why don't you tell me earlier that you want to have a brunch with me?" he protested while removing his mask and glasses. "I haven't take a bath since yesterday."

I roll my eyes and shake my head. "Your face is swollen. What did you do last night?"

"Got 2 packs of ramyeon while working," he answered while looking at the menu. "Have you ordered yet?" he asked.

"Nah. I'm waiting for you to come first. Let's see," I answered. We skim through the menu for a couple of minutes and place our orders after that.

"I was shocked when I looked at the mirror this morning," he said. He slaps his cheeks for a couple of times while closing his eyes.

I can't help but laugh. "What are you working on?" I asked.

"My solo project," he boasted.

Oh, yes!

Kim Sung-gyu, the leader and main vocal of Infinite, is the only idol that I adore since I was in the high school. I can say that I am a successful fan since I can befriend him. We met through 'The Genius' and keep contacting each other even after the show ended.

 

Not only become a friend but also I've considered him as my brother, beside my biological brother. I often share my thought and problem with him. He doesn't always give me solutions but he is a good listener. His only flaw is he is such a narcissistic person.

"Judging by how well you mock me since last night, I guess you are in a good mood," he said.

"Is it obvious?" I laughed embarrassed.

"It's written on your face: I-AM-HAP-PY," he said while pointing my forehead. "Did you got yourself a boyfriend?"

I shocked. "No..., it's too early to say that," I answered carefully.

"Don't tell me that you beg me to come just because you want to boast about your crush," he looks annoyed. "I don't want to hear a high-schooler-love-story."

"Who are you to judge my love life? And I'm an adult now," I protested.

"If your story including about how you have a meal together, or you went to karaoke room with him, that's what a high schooler do," he said.

"What? But that things made me flutter. Can't an adult have this kind of excitement?" I defend myself. "You must be jealous of me."

"So you were really going out with him?" he asked. Now he looks speechless.

I smile at him and ready to boast.

 

* * *

 

"Aw, I should cleanse my ears." He is sulky. "You can talk about anything to me but I can't take the sweet one," he warned me.

"I don't care," I said. I'm too happy.

"Ah, it must be because you never had any boyfriend before, so this kind of little things already makes you crazy," he tries to analyze me.

"Ah, and it must be because you stay single for centuries after got dumped by your ex so your love cells getting rotten and died so you can't bear to see me happy," I attacked him.

"Wow, this kid really talks well," he shakes his head and starts munching a couple of ice cubes left in his glass.

"So what do you think? Is it a 'green light'?" I asked for his opinion. "Based on your perception as a guy."

"Hmm, after hearing your high-schooler-love-story, I think he doesn't have the same feeling as you," he said.

I feel a little bit disappointed. "The reason?"

"Well, because of you ugly, rude, loud, ...., awww!!!" I stepped on his foot before he mocks me with another word.

 

* * *

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


	11. Second 'Date'

The class is over and I have nothing to do after this. Jae-hwan didn't talk about another practice for today. I also hesitate to contact him first. I guess I will just let him takes the lead for this assignment.

Speaking of him, when I'm about to leave, I see Jae-hwan is walking towards me. I'm sure he is coming to see me as I saw him wave and call my name.

"Hi," he greeted me first. I smile at him and greet him back. I still feel awkward around him even though we already spent a wild afternoon together yesterday. "Are you leaving now?"

I nod. I want to ask about the reason why he comes to me but suddenly Ha-neul comes approaching us.

"Let's have lunch," she said to me.

"I already have had lunch," I said.

"With Jae-hwan?" Ha-neul asked. She looks suspicious at me as I see she raises one of her eyebrows.

Jae-hwan shakes his head. I then explained, "I went to see Sung-gyu oppa and we had brunch."

"Are you openly dating him now?" Ha-neul teases me. I'm quite surprised to hear her question. I take a peek at Jae-hwan to see his expression. He doesn't react at all.

"Nope," I answered shortly. Somehow I feel dejected.

"Alright then. See you tomorrow." Ha-neul leaves us.

I turn to Jae-hwan. "Do you want to talk about our project?" I asked.

"Hmm, yeah. There is something I want to discuss over lunch with you. But since you already had lunch, I think I should find another place," he explained.

"Have you had lunch?" I asked. He shakes his head. "I'll keep you company," I said.

"Nah, you won't be eating anyway," he giggled.

"I can drink something. Let's go!"

 

* * *

 

He said that he is okay if he doesn't have lunch. But look at these: so many foods served on our table.

"Do you always eat this much?" I asked while holding my laughter.

Seems like he caught what I'm talking about. "Nah. I ordered more just in case you ask for a share," he giggled.

"What kind of excuse is that?" I laughed. "So, what is it?"

"Well..."

"Why are you here?" Someone suddenly pulled my shoulder from behind. It's Ha-neul again. Why she has to come at a time like this? "You said that you already have had lunch. But what are doing here with Jae-hwan?" She sounds a little bit angry.

"Am I having one right now?" I replied with a question. I roll my eyes.

"But you come with Jae-hwan, not me," she sulked. "I feel betrayed."

"He asked me to have a discussion with him. But since he hasn't had lunch, we are going here first," I answered. "Anyway, why do I have to explain it to you to the point like this?" Ha-neul doesn't answer. But suddenly, she pulls a chair from another table and sits beside me.

"I'm going to sit here," she said to Jae-hwan.

"Sure." Jae-hwan looks a little bit puzzled but nods anyway.

"You make him uncomfortable," I said to Ha-neul. Why does she have to overreact like this over a simple matter? And most of all, I feel bad to Jae-hwan.

Minutes passed. I see Ha-neul already bored as both Jae-hwan and I don't say anything during her time with us. Jae-hwan focuses on his meal while I'm busy replying to my emails. "You said that both of you gonna have a discussion now. Why aren't you saying anything?" Ha-neul asked. She looks somewhat annoyed.

"Can't you see that Jae-hwan is still eating?" I explained to her with a lower voice.

"Then how about you? You just being silent all this time," she asked.

"He is the one who asked first for the discussion," I answered.

"That's mean you are wasting your time here," she said. I pinch her elbow hoping that she won't raise her voice anymore in front of Jae-hwan. I really trapped in a difficult situation.

"Why would he waste my time? Thanks to him, I can make time to reply to my pending emails," I said.

"Are you hiding something from me?" she asked. She still suspicious of me.

"You think too much," I shake my head and back to my phone.

"Okay. I'll leave." She left without looking back at me.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Jae-hwan whispered. He looks somewhat worried.

"Nah. It's okay. And I'm sorry on her behalf," I said. Ha-neul really made me feel bad. What's wrong with her? It just makes me feel more awkward around Jae-hwan.

He nods and smiles. "Try to talk to her later," he said softly.

I need to do something to break this awkwardness between us. "The food shares that you talked about, is it still valid?" I asked. This is embarrassing. But yeah, I would do anything so he won't feel bad. Even if I have to throw some dad jokes.

"I thought I would be waiting forever to hear you asking that," he laughed. "Anything for you. Here!" He offers me a pair of chopstick.

And we eat happily ever after.

 

* * *

 

"So, what is the answer?" Jae-hwan asked. After lunch, we decided to take a walk along Han River. Today's weather is really good for going out. The sky is bright and the wind is quite refreshing.

I hate to the fact that it feels like we are in the middle of a date.

     

"What answer?" I confused.

"'What do you call a cute guy with no ears?'" he asked then giggles.

"Gosh, the dad jokes," I laughed. "I swear I heard it somewhere." I don't know why I feel excited. I try to dig my memory to find the answer.

Suddenly he stops and turns his head to look at me. "귀없다 (t/n: have no ears)," he said.

"Sorry?" Did I mishear? I want to stay cool but the end of my mouth keep betraying me and form a smile.

"귀..., 없..., 다," he repeated each syllable while touching his ears.

Stupid. Yeah, me stupid.

"Don't tell me that you think I was saying 귀엽다 (t/n: cute)," he laughed.

Gosh, he got me. I'm screwed.

"Well...." I can't say anything. My mind is in mess. I touch my left chest and my heart is beating fast. This is so embarrassing.

"You are indeed cute. But that's not the answer." He still laughs at me. "Eo? Your cheeks are getting red now."

I touch my cheeks. Everything becomes out of control. I can't keep my cool. "Because you tease me." Without much thought, I push his shoulder. He steps back and still giggles.

He then repeatedly says sorry to me. But he also repeatedly teases me again after that. I'm not even angry. Strangely, I enjoy his laugh, as if my heart becomes free from all of the burdens. His laugh is unique but really loud. There are only 2 choices: hate it or love it. And I fall for the second.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


	12. The Resolution

Our walk at Han Gang River wasn't only filled with his teases and laugh. We talked about something quite important to me. So that's why I'm visiting this guy.

"What now? Your smile is kinda weird," Sung-gyu mocked me.

"Can you be more positive, Oppa?" I asked, still keep the smile on my face.

"Eugh, that's even weirder," he mocked me again. "Don't tell me that you just had an afternoon walk with him."

Wow, I can't believe him.

"How could you know?" I'm still amazed by him. He rolls his eyes.

"That's what high schooler do," he said.

I don't want to him to continue this childish argument so I just get to the point. "Anyway, he asked me to sing for our duet assignment," I said.

"And?" he asked.

"You know that I can't sing," I said.

"Yeah. But I don't know why you can't sing," he said while straightening his back. "You are a producer who can sing well. You just wasting your talents if you keep hiding in the dungeon."

"I tried, but failed," I defended myself.

"And what happened next?" he asked.

"I couldn't finish my song and cried after that," I answered.

"Just cried?" he asked again. "You were not even died. Then why don't you try again?"

"What a nice mouth you have." I shake my head.

"Yeah, I know," he shamelessly said. "Listen. Maybe you just see me on stage or TV. But you never really know my state when I'm about to perform, especially for my first ever stage. I was nervous and scared AF. Sometimes I thought about quitting, but my love for music is bigger. Even my hurt stomach won't stop me to pursue music."

This is one of the reasons why I like him so much.

"So? Will you do it or not? Tell me what's your plan," he then said.

"Actually, he invited me to become some kind of guest for his busking performance," I explained.

"Really? With his band?" Sung-gyu widens his small eyes. "And then? Did you say okay?"

I shake my head. "I promised him that I will let him know tonight. That's why I'm meeting you first."

"Then just tell him that you are going to do it," he said. I don't know why he sounds so excited like this. He always doesn't seem even care to me.

"What if..."

"What if you could do it well?" he cut my words.

"Oppa, don't try to be cool in front of me. It won't works."

Now finally he takes the revenge by stepping my foot.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


	13. The Busking

I don't have enough time for practising as I just decided to do it last night. Even with enough practice, I will still nervous. I'm looking at my hands for a minute or so while waiting for Jae-hwan. They are pale and covered with cold sweat.

Jae-hwan invited me to busk with him tonight. This is something I've never done before. All this time, I only performing for competitions or recital in school.

He still hasn't come but I already emptied a bottle of water out of nervousness. Strangely my throat is still dry. But if I drink again, most likely there will be a toilet calling right before the busking begin.

     

     

* * *

 

"I'm sorry!" Jae-hwan finally comes. He still pants in front of me and tries to catch up his breath. Seems like he ran to come here. "You must be waiting for too long."

"I thought you will not coming. I'm ready to go home just in case," I said while offering tissues to him. He grabs it and wipes his sweat under his bangs. He seems like he wants to say something. But since he is still panting, he just smiles at me.

"Thank you for showing up," he then said. "I don't know why it was so hard to find a cap store. But this is for you," he said while giving me a black cap. "Guess black is your favourite."

"For me?" I puzzled as he suddenly gives me some kind of gift.

He nods several times. "Even though I believe that you would do well, I'm afraid that you will feel burdened because there will be many people who come and surround us later," he explained. "I hope it can help."

I turn my sight from the cap to him. His pure eyes somehow look sparkling as if they are smiling at me. I can't help but smile. His sweet gesture really eases my mind right now. I'm still nervous, but it's getting better. "Thank you. I never expected you have a thought of me like this."

"I try my best so you won't ever feel disappointed at me," he said and make me a little bit surprised. "Should we go now?"

"Don't you want to assess my play first?" I asked.

"There is nothing to be assessed for. I'm not a lecturer," he laughed. "And besides, today is about you. Just relax and play like you used to play. I hope you can gain something from this experience."

Yeah, I hope I can overcome my fear.

 

* * *

 

"Thank you for coming!" Not only as a vocalist but also Jae-hwan acts as the MC for his band. He really looks confident and bright, something that I don't possess. Some of the audiences, mostly female audiences, calling his name a couple of times. I guess he is really famous in this community.

"It's been 2 weeks since the last time we performed. All these days we were practising so hard so we can show you our better performance today," he said followed by claps from the audiences. "Also, today is a special day. I have one of my classmate here as a guest," he signalled me with his hand to come to the middle. "I'm thankful because she agreed to perform with me today. And since this is her first time, she must be nervous right now. So I hope you guys can cheer up on her," he said to the audiences. The audiences clap excitedly again. Gosh, I'm so shy right now.

Without notice, Jae-hwan gives the mic to me. I guess he wants me to say something to the audiences. This is nerve-wracking. I take the mic and clear my throat before saying my word. "Please take a good care of me," I finally said and give them a deep bow.

The audiences become excited again. Vaguely, I can hear one of the male audiences shouted, "What is your name?"

Jae-hwan grabs the mic from my hands. "Let's call her Ms. Flute for today," he answered behalf of me. "Shall we begin?"

The drummer, bassist, and the other guitarist step back as they will not perform with me tonight. Only Jae-hwan and I, so it's kind of the stage has an acoustic feeling on it. Right before the song starts, Jae-hwan stares at me and gives me smile. I clearly can see his dimple.

_I'm sorry, Jae-hwan. I can't smile you back. But, thank you for taking care of me._

I swear I already applied lip balm before. But my lips get dry again. This nervousness hasn't gone. I bit my lower lip and take a deep breath before starting my play.

As we play, Jae-hwan keeps looking at me while occasionally giving me a smile. Or, at least that's what I'm guessing about. I don't know whether I play well or not. Only my fingers and mouth do the work, my mind is blank. But I can listen to his singing clearly beside me. His voice is really soothing.

At first, I don't know why people sometimes said that someone has a 'honey voice'. But since I met him, I fully understand.

 

* * *

 

This is not my first time I see Jae-hwan busking with his band. Actually, I've been watching his performance several times already from far. There is a small cafe near his regular busking location which has a balcony on the second floor. That's my spot.

Now I sound like a stalker.

But tonight, since I'm still trying to ease my nervousness, I only sit in the side with my mind half empty. My hand still trembling, pale, and covered with cold sweat. Even I'm still asking myself:  _what am I doing here?_

His band's performance is over. He says thanks to all of the audience then say goodbye. Even though it's over, there are still so many people stay and try to talk to the member or just to take some photos from far. I can tell that he and his bandmates are really close to their audience, and of course to their fans. He looks so bright and cheerful tonight. He is happy as a clam.

"Can you wait a little bit longer?" Jae-hwan suddenly comes and asked. "I will cleaning and tidying up first before we leave." I just nod at him. He smiles and waves at me before leaving.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


	14. Unmasking

We decided to have some snacks and little talk at the park near the busking location. We bought tteokbokki, kimbap, and cola on our way to there.

"Ahh, I should treat you with proper meals than this," he sighed while looking at me opening all the snack packages.

"That's okay," I said while giving him a pair of chopsticks.

"Why were the cafes so packed tonight?" he mumbled. He opens a can of cola then gives it to me.

"Should we go back then?" I asked and act as if I'm going to leave.

"No, no...." He waves his hand. "That would be uncomfortable since we will have a talk," he said. "Let's just have a toast!" He raises his cola can. I just smile and follow him. "For you who decided to play beautifully tonight!"

"Whatever," I laughed. I sip my cola for a couple of seconds. The coldness and the fizz make my eyes open wide and somewhat make me happy. Or, is it because I'm with him now? I never imagine that I would do something like this with him. I'm even still not believing how could I end up here now.

He takes a piece of sliced kimbap with his chopstick and offers it to me in front of my face. What kind of situation is this? He won't feed me, right?

"My hand hurts. Take it with your chopstick. Now," he laughed. I quickly grab my chopstick and take the kimbap. Why does he always make me misunderstood?

I also want to curse to the bench where we sit now. Why it has to be this narrow? If there is no snack between us, we might sit with our arms touch each other. "Don't tell me that you were thinking of something else." Here he goes again.

I shake my head quickly hoping he won't caught me this time. "I left my brain at home. Don't worry," I said. He laughs at my words and makes me want to look at his face. Maybe since I'm being around him these days, I realize that he will wink one of his eyes while he laughs.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" he asked. Ahh, I might be staring at him for too long. "Is there something on my face?" He worriedly rubs the corner of his mouth.

I shake my head again. "Nope," I said. "Do you have any habit while you laugh?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Yep, I wink like this," he answered while demonstrating his habit. Gosh, he looks so cute while doing that purposely. "Oh, do you realize it?" he asked. I just nod several times. "Nobody knows about it except my parent," he said. "Hmm, does it mean that you were paying attention to me all this time?" he asked me teasingly.

"Why do you always tease me?" I shake my head in disbelief. My heart, please, be calm. Let's just focus on the snack.

"Because you are fun to be teased," he giggled. "Not in a negative way. I mean, as a friend." Okay, somehow I feel dejected. Suddenly he takes out his phone from his jeans' pocket. "Can I play some music?" I nod while chewing my tteokbokki.

The melancholy feel surrounds me as the music starts. The songs he plays are the kind of calm music you play on a lonely night at home. To make it even sadder, the air is kinda chill tonight. And the wind, it makes my eyes hurt. I guess I actually feel sad but just realized it now.

"Why are you being silent all of a sudden?" he asked. "I will share my kimbap if that's what you want."

"No," I laughed. I clear my throat and start thinking. Should I tell him? But we are not even close.

Yeah, we are not close but we have snacks together in the park. Just the two of us. How come?

Jae-hwan puts his chopstick and takes a sip of his cola. He adjusts his sit position to face me properly after turning off his music player. "I'm all eyes and ears."

Ugh! He makes me pounded.

"I guess you can read what's on my mind right now," I said after made up my mind. He nods several times. Whatever, I'll just tell him a snippet of my story then. "Well, this is my first time where I can properly play in front of so many people since high school," I opened my story. "The last time before this was... Hmm... I don't really remember. I passed out at that time."

"Passed out?" He frowns. I guess he looks a little bit worried.

"Long story short, I decided not to perform in front of people anymore. Be it just play an instrument, or singing, or anything in general. I even left my flute for a year or so," I continued and try to remember everything happened in the past. "And then, it was about the time to graduate from high school. I had to decide which university should I apply. But, I have no knowledge and skill other than music. Since I had no other choice, I was being forced to play the flute again for the audition," I said. I take a glance at him for a second and he still looks at me attentively. Should I continue?

After taking a sip of my cola, I then continue my story. "That's it. I only play at school. But the recital has always been my nightmare. I have no choice but to close my eyes and endure," I said. "After all the things happened until this time, I don't even know why I agreed to come tonight."

Suddenly my heart feels like it's been shredded. Both of my eyes become wet and warmer. Ah, I shouldn't cry when he is around.

"Are you okay?" He touches my shoulder lightly. I guess he is worried because I've been silent for too long. "We can stop now."

I clear my throat and take courage to continue. "Honestly, I was scared. I couldn't sleep a wink last night because I was so nervous. I even planned to not showing up tonight."

Jae-hwan nods again. "Thank you for coming," he said softly. He even makes sure I can see his facial expression clearly by tilting his head closer to me.

"Yeah...." I nod. "I had thought to just run away in the middle of play because suddenly I remembered my past. But, I never expected I wrapped everything just fine," I continued. I can clearly remember the things happened two hours ago. All eyes were on Jae-hwan and I. I felt like my eyes and heart were stabbed by thousands of knives. I really wanted to run away but seeing Jae-hwan with all smiles on his face, I shouted to myself I have to endure it a little bit longer.

I should distract myself for not crying by taking a piece of tteokbokki and chew it slowly.

An awkward silence suddenly comes as I have nothing else to say. Well, actually I still have many things to say but I decided not to do that. I take a glance at him and I found that he is staring at me without saying a word. I assume he has something to tell, but still contemplating whether he will convey it or not. I drink my cola then.

"So..." He drags his word. I think he is just being careful. "You definitely have the reason."

The reason. Yes, this is the thing that I choose not to say. "The reason is..." My voice suddenly becomes hoarse. Ah, I failed. Without warning, I burst into tears.

"Are you crying?" Jae-hwan suddenly on his knees in front of me. He sounds worried. He copies every single move my head make as I try to avoid his eyes. I push his shoulder a bit because I'm so embarrassed now.

"The tteokbokki is spicy," I answered carelessly. I can lie, but my eyes betray my intention.

He then grabs his backpack and takes out a bottle of mineral water. He gives it to me after hurriedly opened its bottle cap. "The tteokbokki is not that spicy. You were the one who ordered it. And you were just fine. But, I'll not argue," he said while looking at me.

In a flash, he stands up and takes a step closer to me. After being silent for a couple of seconds, he finally said something. "Here. Use my sleeve to wipe your tears. I don't have any tissues or hankie right now," he said while shoving his left wrist in front of my face.

"Pardon?" I lift my face. I bewildered by his sudden action. But he doesn't answer me. Instead, he wiggles his wrist to emphasized his words before. "No, no. It's okay." I finally understand then refuse him.

"Then, do you want me to wipe your tears with my fingers?" I'm surprised by his bold question. Was that just a teasing? I quickly grab his wrist and wipe my tears with his hoodie's sleeve in the end. If he ever uses his fingers instead, that will be a disaster for me. I guess it should be better.

When I'm about to remove my hands from his, unexpectedly he touches the top of my head with his palm. "It must be hard for you," he said softly. I still grip his hand to cover my eyes. But with his sudden action, my mind is going blank. I don't know what to do besides holding my breath.

"And please forgive me. I don't know how to comfort a crying girl. I don't have any sister. I'm the only child," he suddenly mumbled. "When my mom's crying, she will cry alone in the kitchen and my dad will be the only one who consoles her," he added.

Without warning, he started caressing my hair. It almost predictable if my heart pounded like crazy because of him. But the funny thing, he doesn't do it softly. It is rather sloppy and somewhat awkward. He taps my head as if he is tapping a shoulder.

"I know that your hand is kinda awkward even without your explanation." I keep his wrist away from my face and finally say something. Even my annoying brother can do it better than him.

I by no means to hurt his feeling. I just have to do something so he doesn't realize how nervous I am right now. "Do you really have to say that?" he laughed. I can't help but smile.

I suddenly realized there are some unusual colours on his sleeve. "Jaehwan, I'm so sorry! I smudged your sleeve with my make up." I panicked and quickly grab his hand. The trace of my BB cream is clearly visible on his sleeve even though it's quite dark here.

"It's okay. I'll ask my mom how to wash it," he said while touching his sleeve. "Hmm, do you still want to hold my hand?" he asked with a serious face. Fool me. I don't realize that I'm clasping his fingers now. I quickly release it. He giggles seeing my reaction and taps my shoulder twice before back to his seat. I immediately wipe my tears that still left on my face with my fingers. This is embarrassing.

"Thank you for telling me your story," he said while looking into my eyes.

"I should be the one who says thanks," I said. "Actually, there are so many things that I want to tell. But, since we are just starting to get closer, I still find it hard to completely open with you."

"You can come to me anytime if you need someone to hear your worry," he added. "I will wait until you fully open your heart for me."

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


	15. A Sleepless Night

Another roller-coaster day.

I am still playing with my new black hat, throwing it from my right hand to my left hand and back again to my right hand and so on. I have a mixed feeling right now. So overwhelming and make me hard to fall asleep. Start from the day one I came to him for our assignment, we did so many things together. To be exact, he is the one who made me did so many things.

I touch the top of my head and try to remember the feeling when he caressed my hair with his awkward hand. I don't know if he is really that inexperienced or just pretending. But whatever, his action really made me feel loved. My heart was pounding like crazy. At the same time, I didn't want him to stop doing that and I wanted to keep holding on his hand. But my brain ordered me to think logically.

After parting with him at the bus station, I have this weird feeling. My chest hurt and somewhat empty. I keep thinking about him to the point I feel like cry. I even play his cover song over and over again since an hour ago. And I don't know how many times I reread our conversation on the chat room. Still, it can't ease my uneasy feeling.

Out of the blue, his photo pops-up on my phone screen. He is calling!

I kick my blanket and jump out of my bed out of surprise. This is crazy. Should I answer it or not? Before I hit any button, I drag down my notification bar to check whether he texted me before calling. But I find nothing.

I take a deep breath before hitting the answer button. "He-hello?" Gosh, I realized my voice sounds trembling. I'm screwed.

" _Hi,_ " he greeted me. His voice sounds different compared to when he speaks directly at me. He often uses high pitches at the end of his sentences but now he talks on the phone with his lower tone. I swear his voice can melt my heart. " _I was wondering whether you will pick up my call or not. I thought you already sleeping. But I try to call anyway_ ," he said. " _Or, did I woke you up?_ "

"Nah, I'm still awake," I replied calmly. I sit on the edge of my bed and try to be calm by clenching my fist together. This is happening. He calls me!

" _Having a hard time to sleep?_ " he asked. " _Need some more dad jokes?_ "

"Please don't," I laughed shyly. I can't help but laugh even though I'm still nervous. He sure so obsessed with dad jokes. "By the way, why are you calling me?" I finally asked. It's 1 AM. I think it's just natural if I asked.

" _Hmm...._ " He clears his throat. " _I just want to call you,_ " he replied.

His answer leaves me a shock. Is he worried about me? Or what?! "Ah really?" I asked again. "I never thought you will call me this late."

" _Oops, I'm sorry. I didn't think about that,_ " he said quickly." _I'll hang up now._ " Now he sounds guilty.

"Jae-hwan!"

" _Hm, yes?_ "

Shoot, why am I shouting at him? He must be startled. This is freaking embarrassing. "Errr...."

" _What happened? Are you okay?_ " he asked right away.

I might be crazy if I tell him the truth that I don't want him to hang up his call. What should I do to make this phone call longer? "Nope. Nothing. I suddenly forget," I lied. Ugh, I wish I can think for another reason.

" _Ah, really?_ " he asked. " _I'm just worried about you,_ " he then explained. I'm kicking air and screaming in silence after hearing his words. He said he is worried about me!

"Don't worry. I just rarely slept early lately," I said. I try to be calm with my unstable voice. "You haven't sleep either."

" _I was about to sleep but suddenly I thought about you,"_ he chuckled _. "Okay then. I'm sorry if I disturb you. See you tomorrow and have a good sleep._ "

"You too. Bye." And that's the end of our first ever phone call.

I jump to the bed and cover my face with my pillow. I'm happy, happy, and happy! All that uneasy feeling disappeared after he called and left me smiling like crazy. I can sleep now.

 

* * *

 

Nope. I'm still awake. And it's 6 AM.

This uneasy feeling comes again. Even worse this time. I really want to hear his voice again. Why didn't I record our conversation? But if he ever found out, he might think that I am a weirdo.

While I believe that I had an ugly voice, his voice on the phone was so tender and sweet as cotton candy. Totally a different voice compared to when he is singing. I bet I could hear his voice all day and never get bored.

Oh dear. I should get ready to school with my eyes looks like Sung-gyu the other day when we had brunch together.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


	16. Doubt

" _Where are you?_ "

"Wait! I'm running right now."

" _Why do you make me waiting for you, huh?!_ "

"Just blame my professor."

I end Sung-gyu's call abruptly. He nags too much.

It has been so long since the last time I run this hard. Since yesterday, Sung-gyu bombarded me in the chat room and ask to meet up with him today. He even willing to pick me up at school and drive me to my studio. But I make him wait longer because suddenly my professor extended the class without our consent.

"I almost died by heat," he muttered after opening his car's door for me from the inside.

"This is the aircon button if you don't know." I shoved my body in while turning on his aircon. After successfully managed myself to sit, I check myself on the rear-view mirror. I'm such a mess.

"I thought I don't have to wait for you  _that_ long so I turned off the aircon," he said while starting off his car engine. I ignore him and just fix my tangled hair. My scalp is covered with sweat so I try to dry it before we arrived at my studio.  _Does my hair smell?_

All of a sudden, Sung-gyu grabs my hair with his left hand and smell it. "Still toleratable."

"Oppa!" I shouted. "I told you not to do this kind of thing," I warned him and fix my hair again.

"Why? Does it make your heart flutter?" he teased me.

"If you are not driving, I will stomp your feet again," I threatened him.

"So what happened yesterday?" he finally asked. This is the reason why he wants to meet me badly. I can't help but smile after hearing his question. He tilts his head and looks at my reflection through the rear-view mirror. "You look silly right now."

"I don't care," I laughed. "I'm so happy right now," I said. The memory from last night still visibly clear in my mind.

"Yeah..., yeah... But you don't deserve him. He is too nice for you," he mocked me. "And don't crawl, whine, or cry in front of me later if your project is done," he warned me.

"Why would I?" I asked. "Ever since we start working together, I don't expect anything from him," I stated. "Like you said, I don't deserve him."

Sung-gyu slows down the car as we almost reaching the intersection with the red light still turning on. "Hey, you know exactly I was joking, right?" He turned his head to me.

"I know my place, Oppa," I said. "Let me just enjoy this moment."

"Actually," he said, "I'm still confused. "You said you like him and you were happy to be around him. But I don't understand why are you giving up so early?"

"He has no interest at me," I answered sadly.

"From your story, I can say with confidence that he likes you. Why would he care about your fear and invite you to his busking stage?" asked Sung-gyu. "You might say that was because he cares so much about his score later at the test. But I don't think so," he added. "Can you be more confident?"

"I don't know, Oppa," I sighed. "I like him so much but I scared if he doesn't have the same feeling."

"He never said directly that he doesn't like you," he said. "You can only decide after you hear about his feeling from his own mouth."

 

* * *

 

Today is our fourth practising session and we are going to prepare for the interim check tomorrow. I walk fast to the mini-studio where he is already waiting for me. Actually, I had to skip the morning class today because I had some work to do. But, since the practising session is the only thing that I always anticipate right now, I won't miss it.

"Hi!" He greeted me brightly right after I step in the studio. He quickly put his guitar down and stand up. "You must be busy these days. Are you okay?" he asked.

"Nah, it's okay," I assured him. Actually, it's really crazy. As a rookie music producer, I always have to be ready and say yes to every job given to me. These days, I'm working on some music for an upcoming audition program. I'm not the main producer but I never thought being the assistant would be this hard. "Shall we start now?"

Even though I'm busy, I always make time to practise during my break time, especially singing. One of the vocal trainers in my company even praised me and asked whether I really want to debut as a soloist as he often sees me practising. So I'm quite confident with my play and singing now. We play smoothly from the beginning to end.

"Let's wrap now," Jae-hwan said while hugging his guitar in front of him.

"But we were only practising once today," I puzzled.

"That's okay. Prof. Hwang only wants to check our progress. I think we are doing fine so far," he said. "You look so tired today." He sounds worried.

Ahh... It must be because he sees these dark circle under my eyes. I didn't have time to fix my make up before coming here. The concealer in my purse feels useless right now. Indeed, I'm really tired right now. I just want to take a bath and sleep right away. But meeting him is very tempting.

Suddenly he shifts his position to be closer to me. "Can I take you home?"

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


	17. The Touch

I'm so hungry.

I just woke up from my nap and grab my phone on my bedside table. It's fully charged now. I think I slept for around... 5 hours? It's 11 PM now.

I slowly walk to the kitchen to find something to eat. Thankfully, Yoo-jin already prepared a dinner for me. She made me a pumpkin soup as I requested. I lose appetite lately even though I'm really hungry. So I need some quick and easy to eat meals. She also left a sticky note on the fridge.

> _microwave 3 mins._

As I'm waiting for my meals done heating, I'm checking on my phone. Hmm, some emails from work, some spams, some newsletters, ... text from Jae-hwan.

     

* * *

 

Jae-hwan asked whether he can take me home because he was worried I might be passed out on my way home. "It's okay, Jae-hwan. I don't want to trouble you," I politely refused him. 

"I'm not taking you with a fancy car anyway," he laughed. "I'll just accompany you in the bus," he added. He even insisted to carry my laptop and flute bag.

We didn't talk much on our way to the bus stop. To be honest, I was dejected because our practise time was really short. But even though I got another chance to going home with him, I'm too tired to open my mouth. I hate myself.

We jumped on the bus which almost packed with people. There were not many empty seats left but Jae-hwan managed to get one seat for me. "Let's just stand and wait for another seat," I whispered to him. He didn't answer. Instead, he just shook his head while pushed me to sit on one of the empty seats.

"Don't worry about me. Just sleep. I'll wake you up later when we arrive," he said. He was standing at the aisle next to my seat. I asked him to let me hold my bags since I already seated. He then put on his earphone and hold the stanchion in front of me.

I thought I'll just go to sleep since it would take 45 minutes to 1 hour to reach our stop. But how could I sleep if Jae-hwan was right next to me? Since his right hand on the stanchion and the other hand grabbed the upper part of my seat, it would be natural if he is standing while facing the window, and facing me.

Instead of going to sleep, I didn't know why I stole a gaze and observed him quietly. He is not too tall and not too short. He has an average body build and not too muscly. Even I believed I saw his bulging tummy sometimes. Not too big, just cute enough. His skin is as fair as white cloud and makes him looks simply warm, soft, and fluffy. He reminds me of a cotton candy. His cheeks are the most obvious feature of his face. If I saw him from the side, I could see his chubby cheeks even though actually he is quite thin. Just saw him eating made me want to pinch his cheeks. I bet he will hate this idea and I won't ever do it anyway.

He has small diamond-like lips. It would be more clearly visible when he laughs. Sometimes he pouts his lips when he plays the guitar. I couldn't believe a grown-up man would be looks cute. His eyes also beautiful. For some reasons, his eyes look serenely and warm, like a puppy. But his eyes...

"Eung?" Suddenly he turned his head and looked at me. He raised his eyebrows and pressed his lips. His cheeks were bulging like a muffin. I could see his dimple clearly.

I quickly shook my head. "Nothing," I said.

Ahh, my heart. My heartbeat was a mess. I decided to turn my head and looked out the window to avoid him. But somehow I felt uncomfortable because it was as if I was staring at the passenger beside me.

"Are you not tired?" Suddenly he tapped my shoulder and asked. I startled and quickly turned my head at him. Our eyes met without my intention. But before I could answer his question, the passenger beside me tried to talk.

"Student, I'll get off at the next stop," the passenger said then stood. I had no choice but also stood to let her walk past me. In a flash, Jae-hwan held my hand so I could balance myself. Gosh, what did he just do?

Well, I knew the answer. But still.

I thought of what should I do if Jae-hwan takes the newly empty seat next to me. But before Jae-hwan took it, someone who might be eyeing this seat since a long time quickly walked to us. I grabbed Jae-hwan's hand quickly while shifting to my new seat position next to the window so he could sit on my seat before.

"I'm sorry," I apologized after to make him startled. I might be pulling him too hard to made him shook like that.

"I never knew you would be this strong," he giggled.

Our seat was worse than the bench at the park where we were snacking together. It was so cramped and inevitably half side of our body touched each other. Our arms, wrists, waists, even our thighs and knees. I couldn't stay like this, but it might be rude if suddenly I shifted and kept our distance.

Strangely, for some reasons I felt... Comfortable?

I didn't want to sound like a bad or naughty girl but the longer our skin touches each other, the more comfortable I feeling. I didn't want to be apart. He didn't even budge or make any comment. Busy with my thought, I sat silently while staring at his beautiful hand. He has long slender fingers with beautiful long nails. But his protruding veins make him looks more manly.

Out of the blue, he grasped my forefinger. His hand is really soft. I didn't know why suddenly my chest was in pain after he did that. "You keep constantly bowing and lifting your head since a couple of minutes ago. Just sleep even for just a moment," he said softly while released my finger. He turned his head at me and looked into my eyes. I guess this was his subtle way to made me obey him.

His puppy eyes made me weak. Ahh, and the dimple. Without any comment, I repositioned myself to be more comfortable and tried to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 _Ding!_ My dinner is ready. But instead of taking out my soup, I suddenly start crying.

_What if I really have fallen in love with him?_

I like him since long time ago. I'm still liking him until now even though I have no chance to get closer to him. But I'm not allowing myself to say that I love him. Maybe my feeling towards him is as same as I have towards Sung-gyu. Admiration.

But with the all the things happened between us lately, I start questioning myself. I have no experience in any love relationship but I believe I'll be hurt badly if I falling in love with someone who doesn't even love me.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


	18. Half-way

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

"This is for you. Happy birthday!"

I'm still waiting for my turn for the interim check for our duet assignment but I already got at least five birthday presents from five different guys. Two of them are my seniors and one of them is my junior. I have no information about the others.

"Indeed, you are really popular," Ha-neul said while looking at my presents. "But there are still so many presents in our studio and keep coming. Take them home. Our studio is not your private room," she added. "I'll be going first."

"Why are you being so harsh to her?" Ki-hyun, my classmate, protested to Ha-neul. But she doesn't even care and keep walking. "She is a little bit weird lately. I don't know what happens to her. She becomes too sensitive and makes Jin-wook upset," said Ki-hyun to Jae-hwan. Jae-hwan only nods without saying anything. "Jin-wook even said that she talked too much about you who deciding to sing as well for this assignment."

I thought that I'm just the only one who thinks she is a little bit different recently. Her replies, both directly and through chat, become shorter day by day. Actually, I don't want to think much about it. I assume that she might have any situation to make her like this. But since Ki-hyun brought this matter up, I start to think differently. Maybe I should meet and talk to her.

"Anyway, do you like the flowers from me? I chose them by myself," said Ki-hyun to me with a smile on his face. "I woke up early in the morning in purpose."

Actually, this is kind of bothersome. I always am thankful that so many people remembering and wishing for my birthday. But, I don't really like accepting presents, especially if there is a motive behind it. And also, bringing home all the presents and flowers from school will attract too much attention.

"Thank you. But please, you don't need to give me any presents again. I don't want to hassle you," I said. Please, just stop.

"Look at her, Jae-hwan! She is so sweet, right? Jae-hwan ahh... You are so lucky to be partnered up with her," said Ki-hyun while shaking Jae-hwan's shoulder. "We should be partnered together, really," he said to me. I reply to him with a smile. "Did Jae-hwan trouble you?" 

I shake my head. "He helped me a lot. He is very talented," I said. I can hear Jae-hwan laugh at me and say 'thank you'.

"Did he already gave you the birthday present?" Ki-hyun asked me. "But did you even already wish her a happy birthday?" He punches Jae-hwan's arm lightly.

"I don't need such a thing," I answered quickly. Yes, I don't need any present from him. But, he doesn't even wish me a happy birthday. I know, at this age, I shouldn't think too much about a small thing like this.

But still, I'm kind of disappointed.

"You can just ignore him," Jae-hwan whispered at me after Ki-hyun left. "He can be a little bit noisy." I startled a bit when he suddenly shifts his seating position to be closer to me. I can smell his fresh cologne from this narrow distance. My left side body feels like it's getting electrified. Why am I being like this? "Hey," he whispered to me and taps my flute's case lightly.

I turn my head to him. I have no idea that he is also facing me so our eyes meet unintentionally. His eyes look pure as always. I'm getting threatened now. "I remember your birthday. Actually, I wanted to call you last night. But you were so tired yesterday. I don't want to disturb you," he said slowly with his low voice. This is weird because I feel like his voice tickles my ear and makes me want to smile.

"It's okay," I said calmly. I try to hide my smile.

He knows my birthday.

"You look a little bit worried. Are you nervous now?" he asked. I nod slightly without saying anything. My mind is full of him. I can't think of anything else. "I never imagine someone as professional as you could be as worried as this," he said while stretches his fingers.

I'm nervous because of you, not because of Prof. Hwang. How are you going to be responsible for this?

 

* * *

 

"You said you were nervous," said Jae-hwan. He helps me to carry some of the presents in the studio. Feel bad after hearing what Ha-neul said, I decided to clean up the studio as soon as I left the class. "I feel like I'm getting betrayed. How many times was Prof. Hwang praised you?"

"It's all thanks to you." I can't help but smile at him. 

I was nervous because of him. But sure I also nervous to face Prof. Hwang. When Prof. Hwang evaluated our performance, Jae-hwan kept guiding me with his eyes and made sure that I wouldn't miss any single note.

"Oh, and also I'm sorry to make you carry all of this things," I apologized. "But, I am thankful because I don't need to be embarrassed walking alone around the school while carrying these."

"You got so many presents. How could I let you carry all of these alone?" he smiled. "Look, the taxi has come!" he exclaimed and pointing the taxi that gradually reaching us. After the taxi stops properly in front of us, we shove all of the presents into the taxi."

"Thank you very much for your help," I said and ready to get into the taxi. But I realized that he stretches his hand to protects my head. I'm a little bit surprised by his gesture.

"Hey," he suddenly stopped me from closing the door. "Do you have any plans for today?" he asked. What is it now? "I thought of asking you for a dinner."

A dinner?!

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


	19. The Talk About Him

This place always serves really good foods since my first visit from 2 years ago and become my favourite place for dinner. I'm glad because I can enjoy my birthday dinner here.

As I finished devouring my dinner, I quickly grab and open the present in front of me. I can't wait to see what's inside. "This is so pretty!" I squealed when I found out I got stationeries as my present. I keep flipping through my new journal book. Not only a journal book but also Yoo-jin gives me a couple of assorted stamps and washi tapes. I really love stationeries.

"How could I let you live alone if you still act like a kid," Oppa said. He tries to observe the pattern on the washi tapes.

"Don't judge my personal interest," I snatched my precious washi tapes from his hand. He shakes his head.

"Personal interest? Like the guy from that audition show?" he mocked me. I glare at him.

"Is this what you really want to do on your sister's birthday?" He really tests my patience.

"Oh stop it, you guys," said Yoo-jin to calm us down. "Oppa, don't you need to call someone?"

"No, I'm not" he replied and tried to grab my journal but failed since I slap his hand.

"Yes, you are. Now!" Yoo-jin orders him to step aside for a moment. I can see he is grumbling on his way to the outside of the restaurant.

"Why do you make him leave?" I asked.

"So that I can talk to you," she answered. "I caught you were crying last night. I believe it wasn't working related problem. What happened?"

 

* * *

 

"A dinner?" I repeated.  _Did I hear it wrong?_

"Yeah, but only if you are free tonight," he said slowly. I could see the doubt on his face.

Ah, what should I do? This sounds tempting and I'll be a fool if I refuse him. Especially since today is my birthday. I really want to say 'yes'.

The thing is, I might be sound indecisive, but after what happened yesterday, I guess I need to keep my distance from him. I really like him, but I don't think I'm ready to fall in love with him. Rejection is my greatest fear.

In addition, I already have dinner plan with oppa and Yoo-jin tonight. Two of them are my only family and I love them so much. It's been so long since we out for dinner together.

"I already have a plan for tonight," I said. I bite my lower lip and try to read his expression.

"Ahh... Is that so?" he murmured. Is that his disappointed expression? Or, am I mistaken? "I hope we have dinner together someday," he said. He presses his lips together and makes his dimples clearly visible.

I'm going to regret this. Forever.

 

* * *

 

"Today is your birthday and already not many hours left, but why do you have to work now?" Oppa protested. "You should just become a prosecutor like me."

"Not even in my dream. Are you kidding me?" I hug him and he hugs me back more tightly. He strokes my hair.

"I hope everything will be going well for you," said Yoo-jin after oppa releases his hug to me. Yoo-jin then hugs me and plants a kiss on my cheek.

"What is it? Did you talk about something behind my back?" He is suspecting us.

"Why do you always get so many presents for your birthday?" Oppa is being ignored by Yoo-jin and me. She points the presents inside the car with her chin.

"Can you help me to open them? I don't think I can make time," I asked for help from Yoo-jin. "I just hope I got many snacks as my birthday presents so I can bring them all this week to the orphanage."

"Okay. But what if I found any love letters?" asked Yoo-jin.

"Give it to me and I'll burn them all," said Oppa. What a useless threat.

After sending them off, I quickly walk to my senior's studio. This is embarrassing but he already waited for me with a small birthday cake. "The birthday girl is coming!" He shouts and pops a confetti popper in front of my face. "And congratulations for being the #4 in Naver! Well, even though it's only last for 2 hours, but I'm still proud of you."

"Naver??" I asked in confusion.

"Blow the candles first," he said. I obey his words and quickly blow the candles so I can hear explanation quickly. "This girl! Why are you in rush? Don't you have to make a wish?"

"I already made one," I lied. "So Sunbaenim, tell me what happened. Did my name appear along with some weird articles or videos?" I totally worried. The last time I worried because of my name appeared in trending search keyword was when netizen questioning the relationship between me and Sung-gyu.

"Nah, don't worry," he said while giving me a plastic knife. "I was searching for something yesterday. Then suddenly my friend pointed your name on the trending search keyword. I couldn't believe it at first but then I sure it was you after I watched the video," he explained. "You were busking yesterday right?"

I almost choked. "Busking? Nope," I lied again. I try the frosting on my birthday cake. It doesn't suit my taste bud.

"Don't lie. The girl in this video was also wearing a black cap like this," he pointed my cap. He types something on his computer and suddenly my video is popping up. "Here. I swear this girl is you, right? She also played the flute."

I scratch my forehead. There's no point for lying anymore but still, I feel kind of embarrassed watching my video performance on the internet. "But how could they know it was me?"

"Ha! Finally, you admit it yourself," he said. He seems satisfied. "Maybe some of the audiences are your fans."

"Fans? What fans?" I chuckled. I slice the cake and give it to him. "Thank you for the cake, Sunbae."

"Look. This video already surpassed five thousand viewers. I'm so proud of you!" He seems excited while we watch the video. "But why did you suddenly do busking? I never know that you already overcome your fear."

"One of my classmates invited me to come to his band's busking. I was hesitated at first but, yeah, why not?" I said. "But if I knew that it would be like this, I wouldn't do it in the first place," I added. I wondered how many people saw this video already. So embarrassing.

"Which friend? The one who did the duet with you?" he asked. I nod while giving him a box of tissues after seeing the trace of frosting at the corner of his mouth. "Hmm, if I look closely, I think I know this guy," he said slowly.

"Really?" I asked.

"Did he ever appeared on television before? In a music competition, maybe?" he asked.

I quickly nod. "Yes. In Korea Got Talents and God's Voice."

"Ahhh... No wonder why I think I ever saw him before," he snapped his fingers. "The PD of God's Voice is my senior. He talked about this guy to me before."

"What a coincidence!" I couldn't believe it. "Actually, I took my internship in that program."

"You were an intern in there? This is my first time hearing about this," he laughed. "Anyway, how is he? Had he have an agency now?"

I shake my head. "Not yet. From what I know, he is still busy with school and busking. And also his part-time work? But I heard nothing about his career in music," I answered slowly.

"Hmm... So unfortunate. He should find another way soon to make his voice to be recognized. He has talents," he said. This talk somehow makes me want to meet him. Maybe because he is the main topic of our conversation. But every time I try to remember his face and voice in my mind, my chest is hurt. "Let's go back to work. I'm sorry but we have to pull a night today." My senior adjust his seating and we start to work.

Before I start working, I grab my phone to check my notifications. It is full of the birthday messages which I couldn't reply one by one at the moment. As I scrolling through the messenger apps, I find no new messages from Jae-hwan. I'm a little bit downhearted but he has no reason to texts me anyway.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


	20. Half Asleep

"Ugh, my eyes!" My senior murmured. He rubs his eyes then pats his cheek several times. "Are you sleepy? Not tired at all?"

"Eung...." It's almost 3 AM right now. There is no way I don't feel the urge to sleep.

"I'll take a short nap in the studio next door. Thirty minutes, I promise. I'll set my alarm," he said while stretching his body. "You too, just take a nap here. And don't forget to lock the door." After seeing my senior left for a nap, I lock the door and jump to the couch. I take out my phone from my pocket and check the notifications after finding the comfortable position to lie down.

But suddenly I get up again in shock after knowing that Jae-hwan sent me texts. I didn't realize it sooner because my phone was on silent mode.

 

     

 

Shoot!! Why do I only know by now? Should I reply to his text? But it's almost 3 AM right now. Yes, I should wait at least until the sun rises.

Ugh... Then why do my fingers feel itchy? He won't read my text right away if I reply to him now. 

     

 

Okay. Just leave it and wait until he texts me back later. I should take a nap while I can. 

     

 

Oh? He replied to me right away. 

     

 

Hmm? What's wrong with me? Why am I being so talkative? What will he think about me? 

     

I never expect we will text each other at this hour. And also, I feel a little bit weird right now. I keep rereading our chat with the smile on my face. Somehow, I feel happy. But the problem is my eyes really heavy right now to keep our conversation long.

 

* * *

 

The sunlight was too bright. Someone in grey cardigan looked dazzling. His canines peeked between his smile. The ice cream melted and run through my fingers. A group of people got off the bus. The dark alley where two people walked hand in hand. A kiss as soft and sweet as strawberry ice cream.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


	21. Advice

"What's wrong with your face?" Yoo-jin asked. "Did you just do something weird?"

"Nope," I answered quietly.

"Then?"

"Nothing."

"What's with that short answer?"

"Don't mind me."

I don't care with her glare and just leave the dining room. I'm so hungry this morning but I couldn't even chew my breakfast properly. My mind is full of him. After I come into my room and close the door, I jump to my bed and shove my face to the pillow.

What is so wrong about me? How could I have a dream like that? Am I so desperate?

 

     

I reread his text from yesterday. I thought I can meet him after I've done with my work. But after reading his text, I felt dejected and decided to go home without even attending any class. I took a sleep until tomorrow morning which is this morning.

But I never thought that I would have this kind of dream about him. Kissing? Even though I know that I'm blushing right now, but still it wasn't a proper thing. What if someday he knows about it? Will he judge me as someone dirty?

"What's wrong with you? Don't make me worried! If I'm worried, your brother will even more panic and do unnecessary excessive things!" Yoo-jin suddenly opens my door and barging to my room. I was shocked because of her sudden shouting.

"Can you knock first before coming in? You're invading my privacy!" I shouted back. "I told you that there is nothing to worry about."

"Then why does your face blushing? And those ears, really really red," she said. She rests her hands on her hip.

I quickly cover my ears with both of my hands. "I feel unwell," I said then clear my throat to deceive her.

"Really?" Yoo-jin walks toward me then places her hand on my forehead. "Feels normal. Did you hide anything from me? Like, maybe you had a wet dream?"

"Oho!" I shouted and pushed her hand in an instant. "How can you accuse me with something like that so easily?" I asked in disbelief. Seriously, she is as frightening as Sung-gyu.

"No need to be worked up if it's untrue anyway," Yoo-jin scoffed. "I'll give you medicine in case you need it," she said while walking out my room. "Oh, I almost forgot!" she turned back. "I already packed your presents last night. I'll drop by the post office this afternoon."

"Oh really? Thank you!" She helped me to send my presents to the orphanage. I by no means disrespecting other people's good intention for giving me the birthday presents. But I think it will be meaningful if I can share it with other people in need.

"And I found so many, like, so... many love letters," Yoo-jin chattered. "Normally, people will get curious then read the letters, but not for me. I had enough," she rolled her eyes. "You've got so many love letters all these times but why are you still single? Is this your plan for the rest of your life?" she asked.

"I have no urge to be rushed anyway," I replied. "And I don't have any plan for marriage in near time."

"Seriously, do you still trapped by your first love?" she asked. "Honestly, I don't believe in first love. Your brother is not my first love; I've been in so many relationships before meeting him. But what matters the most is I decided to live the rest of my life with him."

"Instead of first love," I asked. Somehow I got drifted by her talk. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"So, you also fall in love at the first sight with this guy? Oh my gosh, I have no words," she shook her head. "I fell in love at the first sight with your brother. I denied it at first, because, where is my pride? But yeah, I admitted it in the end. Thankfully, he also had the same feeling."

As I heard her story, it makes me start thinking. I know for sure that I keep denying my feeling for Jae-hwan. Even Sung-gyu is really annoyed by my view. Is it the time to admit and accept everything?

"Don't you have the feeling that you actually are in the need to have someone other than your family and friends?" she asked with curiosity in her face. "In a romantic way, I mean."

"But, how do you know?" I replied with a question.

"Different people, different symptoms," she said. "Hmm... The easiest example: you can't stop thinking about him. Everything you see, even the smallest thing, just makes you reminded of him," she explained. "Oh, another thing. He appeared in your dream. Maybe there are some kissing happen."

I almost choked with my own saliva. She is indeed a scary woman.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my works. Don't forget to leave your comment below. I love to read your feedback because it can encourage me to write more!


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